Is it bad when you crave wedding cake the first thing in the morning?

'Tis All

Sushi makes all things better. And chocolate. And cuddling. Thank you for the concern.

*REALLY LOUD SCREAM AND CLAWING* - - __

Annual Talentless Show

Since I need to lighten up today's mood, I thought about stealing this meme. I am very talented. Among my many talents are the following, in no particular order. Oh, and I mean it sincerely, too. I'm really really good at this stuff. (Immitation is the highest form of praise besides walking in her shoes.)

1. I will listen to you. At one point I was going to be a psychologist.
2. I'm not afraid to get up on stage and dance and sing and make a fool of myself.
3. Snoring. It's an artform.
4. If there is a dog or cat or some other animal in the room, understand that I must say hello to them first. As well as have a full conversation with them. Sometimes while I talk to you.
5. Can spend hours in a book store without buying anything. Took me forever to accomplish that one
6. I sing in the car when I'm alone and I am fabulous!
7. I was an audience member in the Bozo Show.
8. Sticking my tongue up my nose is not just a stupid human trick, but it's also a good way to deflect an attack from the Nice One.
9. If I take a picture of you, then you will look fabulous.
10. I follow through on my addictions. I can't help it. I'm a Pisces.
11. I am the only person I know who can smash her arm into the doorknob of an open door and receive physical therapy for a month because of it.
12. Massage anyone?
13. Yes, I am that innocent.

Today's Title by Buffy.

The One Where She Opens Her Trap

From Daily Om:

As your birthday is fast approaching, today may be the day you begin to ponder how you want to shape your future. You may feel excited about your plans and dreams or excited about the chance to start anew. You can make the most of your attitude by visualizing what you want out of life. Consider where you are now versus where you’d like to be, and ask yourself how you can make that happen. Imagining the vivid details of your dream life can make you feel optimistic and happy. As you think about the future, let your musings solidify into the beginning of a plan. The fantasies you have today could contribute in a very real way to the success you achieve in the coming year.

Because all success begins in the mind, visualization can be a potent way to call your dreams into being. When you look ahead with an optimistic eye, you create a mind-set that your goals are attainable. Because you are undaunted by fears of failure, you are more likely to put yourself into situations where opportunities will come your way. You also emanate a magnetism that draws blessings into your life. You can create what you want by picturing both the grand and minor details involved in the creation of your dream life. Your brain will accept your mental musings as truth. Visualize the life of your dreams in detail today, and prepare yourself for a wonderful year.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and one of the questions that keeps coming up is: "But will it make me a happier person? Will it be just a temporary happiness?" I've been trying to have a positive attitude about trying new things, and it has helped me relax most of the time. I've also had more enthusiasm about getting littleerrandss done; now I need to do the same for the bigerrandss. I've been waiting to turn this age all of my life and it's a little intimidating because this is the year that I wanted to see a lot of my goals come together. Oddly enough, I think most of them are. The last seven years alone have been truly amazing. Becoming an adult, learning to liveindependentlyy, getting married, succeeding in life, but still finding that something is missing. Most people feel this way, and I think some of them get along just by doing what they need to. But I don't want to live in a routine. I want to learn and explore more. I'm an ace when it comes to holding myself back and drowning myself with fear. It's time for a change and not a temporary one. One that will take work. One that will be hard and will take lots of discipline, but a change that I will look forward to everyday. I've heard people say that they don't want to live the same day twice. Why would anyone? When I'm sitting in my wheelchair at a mediocre retirement home, I want to be able to have some glint at a past that would be fun to retell my nurse or passing strangers. Of course, by that time I might be in such a state that I remember my life as a trapieze artist better than my current one. But I digress. Every day should be a memorable one, not just okay.

Essence of Normal

To eat a blog.... I've already erased one beginning entry. I don't want a new start. Just a place that I can be creative. I have been out of the practice of writing for so long that I have almost forgotten what it feels like. I needed a place where my mind can wonder and where I don't have to fear anyone reading about the goings-on of my mind and all of the life delusions mixed in. I've always felt that my imagination was stinted when I was a child. Alone, I would play with my dolls and toys but never make up an imaginary friend because I thought that was too lame, and that I didn't have enough of an imagination to sustain one for very long. I do not have A.D.D. I do believe that when I do something that I can only do it if I am knowledgeable enough in that particular field. For example, I never like to discuss politics or theories only because I don't feel "qualified". Sometimes I feel I won't have an opinion on the issue until it comes to the deciding time. That, and I never like hearing people argue back and forth when it is obvious that neither one knows 100% what they are talking about. I never understood debate because I can always see both sides to a story. There are very few things that I feel passionate about. Funny...I always feel like I am the one within my family who is always made to be the decider (where to eat, what movie to see). Lots of bottled up ambition. Never feel like I have enough training. I stopped watching the news because I would get so upset with the idiot "reporters" and the way the world was being run that I felt I should become a U.N. delegate. Wonderful. Too hopeful. But still, I don't think I ever filled out any applications for internships. I always hold myself back. But for this blog, I will write all. Everything I was ever afraid to write about. So...in future entries you might find snippets of stories/poems/character creations.