R-E-S-P-E-C-T

There is at least one day in every woman's life when she needs this shirt.

A Horizontal Monument to Man?

A local putt-putt has some odd holes. But by far...this is the worst. I think I scored a 10 on it.

Southern Secret

I've lived below the Mason-Dixon line for nine years now. I went to a private girls high school for four years before moving to Arkansas, so these last nine years have been a real eye opener to the male species. For starters, I didn't realize how simple guys were - or for that matter, how complicated women were. Here is the best explanation I have heard:

Men are like a switch. On the top it reads "On" and the bottom is labeled "Off". Women are a bit more complicated. You see a wall. This wall is covered from top to bottom, side to side with multiple buttons, knobs, dials, switches, and toggles in various sizes and colors. None of which are labeled.

And ladies, I have found the switch that controls the southern boys. Give it to them and they will be like warm, melted butter. They will sing your praises, treat you with respect and keep coming back to you for more. Sometimes with presents! It's not sex either. You're not going to believe it when I tell you, and I have yet to meet one who doesn't get excited at the mere mention of it. Rotel. Rotel is a can of tomatos and chiles. So, how do you freak boys out with it? Mix it up with some cheese, preferably Velveeta. It has been my experience that when the guy sees it, his eyes light up as though all of his Christmas dreams have come true. It's also been the one dish that ensures compliments. I had no idea what 'Rotel' was when I came down here. And the dish is commonly referred to as 'Rotel', not 'cheese dip' as us Yankees would say. The Rotel website has a bunch of recipes listed, including one for the 'Famous Rotel Cheese Dip'. I cook mine in a crock pot/slow cooker.

Fantasy's are fun, aren't they Jonathan?

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there. ~Scott Adams Don't go giving him ideas now Willow.

You're barking up the wrong asparagus, man.

I was barked at today. By men. I feel like I need a flee collar. Aw, Andrew. Our gentle wordsmith.

This Morning's Thought

Getting guys to agree that something is pretty could not be any more fun than free parking on the beach.

Bash 'em

This is perfectly worded. DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired. Rezzie can sure spot them ;)

Results of the Halloween Party

Brett said that I could sell him on my blog.

On a Perfect Day, a Line.

I saw an old man today. He had a pretty bunny stuffed animal sitting next to him. He told me that I could have it. If I was single.

FOR JEN:

BOYS ARE STUPID!!!

Lessons

And what have we learned today?
That boys are weird.
People will try to control you and get pissy when they discover that they really don't.
Getting married to coffee can be fun.

I think age does this to guys

Said by Burt Reynolds:

"Willie and I Would Make Nice Couple - Yahoo! News: "'When I worked with Willie Nelson, who is just about the nicest man I've ever worked with in my life, the sweetest, kindest man, I thought, 'If I'd have been gay, it would have saved me millions,'' he told Jay Leno in the show broadcast Thursday night."