What a Horo!

Git yer horoscope here. Mine could very well be true. I guess we will see what happens this weekend. Pisces The moon is in space this month which can only mean one thing for you. Eating! Gorge yourself on all things fatty and unhealthy, especially cake, cheese and people. Thanks to the cosmic alignment of the Starship Nubulus you will not only LOSE weight but become 9 feet taller. Little by little your friends will show themselves as they truly are. Avoid anyone connected with the name Alan. They will only bring about your death. Your number for this month is 42. Capricorn Beware white dog poo. As you prepare for Christmas you will meet an old friend who will present you with an offer. Do not accept it - they are poorer than you and don't deserve friends. You will have more luck surrounding yourself with the firstborn of parents who are both Pisces. Especially if the parents are twins. Avoid anyone with more or less than two legs, eat food straight from the source and keep away from flammable children and patent leather boots. The names Gary Barlow and Tintin will hold no significance for you this month. The number 2 and the word poo will be important however.