Thursday, October 27, 2005

Because this story made my day last night:

"King Pump ruled over the icy mountain kingdom of Portugal ruthlesslybetween 1543 and 1584. Not only was his name "Pump", he was also Kingof the Pumps, the notoriously unscrupulous portugeuse mountain dwarveswho ate nothing but asparagus and jam. As a result, their economycollapsed on an almost daily basis; and it wasn't until 1567 that KingPump invented the pumpkin to stabilse the economy. King Pump hadwanted to call his creation the "pumpking", after himself, but theletter "g" had been made obsolete in the imfamous alphabet soup riotsof two years earlier, and so he had to settle for "pumpkin", which was12% shorter despite the fact that, indeed, it takes just as long tosay. The famous "pumpkin standard" became, of course, the predecessorof the gold standard shortly after the reformation when a band ofprotestant reformers discovered just exactly how pretty and shiny goldwas, to 14 decimal places, as clearly described in Mark's Gospelchapter 5 or maybe 7, and as a consequence invented globalisation.Pumpkins today are a natural source of scary faces and contributeconsistently to transatlantic bewilderment. Pumpkin pie containsneither asparagus nor jam and as a result, the pumpkingites of the 16thcentury have been largely ignored outside of urine sample analysislaboratories east of Madrid." By Jonny

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