Decision Making Time

Get off my chest time! Yay! I need to speak in abstracts for this post. Just for anonymity sake. I've been witnessing something going on (in my personal life, in the community, nation and world) for some time, and I wanted a chance to say my piece. So if anyone that I happen to know personally reads this, just know that I love you. You are my friend, and I would not have it any other way. It takes me a while to get my argument across, some times even to figure out what my argument is. Arguing has always made me feel sick, and therefore I never do it/listen to it/participate. Some things just need to be said for the peace of my own mind.
RE: Judgment, Morals/Principles/Opinions, Fears, Youth & Experience
Children are being tried for murder as adults. Governments are basing laws on group morals. An individual's morals are considered irrelevant.
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." ~ Thomas Jefferson
And please note, when I refer to morals I am NOT NOT NOT referring to any specific religion or ideology. Substitute morals for principles if you will. All I mean is something that you feel strongly about, that shapes who you are. Kinda like eye color for the soul.
It's really disheartening whenever I see people make decisions (or get blamed for the decisions they have made by themselves or others) on their youth and inexperience with certain situations. If something makes you uncomfortable, then you have two options. One, don't do it. Two, find out more about it, and if it still makes you uncomfortable or more so, then don't do it.
To me, telling someone that they are "young and inexperienced" is a really bad cliché to get dependent on. (E.g. just like how some parents like to blame society for the way their children turned out.) It seems to be a subtle theme today. If you made bad choices on something, then you can blame it on your inexperience. Or, people blow off any kind of judgment on a person because they are too young. The same thing happens when a person declines to experience or accept someone else’s ideology as their own because it goes against their personal morality. Mostly, I see people accepting others ideologies/lifestyles/habits/politics because they want to be accepted. By doing this, they hurt themselves and deceive others. Are we too afraid to speak up for what we want and don't want in our lives?
Throw social norms out the window, ignore the 'mature' thing to do, and forget legalities and doctor's notes. I'm talking about when you find yourself in a situation that you don't have experience with and if it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe that is not for you. I accept that there are plenty of these out there that people do that I do not approve of. Just as there are plenty of things that I do that others don't approve of. I judge what other people do based on whether or not 1.) they are hurting themselves, 2.) they are hurting others, 3.) they are in danger of being attacked by others (either physically, politically or lawfully) and 4.) are they affecting me and is it any of my business? I feel that others also tend to dictate/judge/police the actions of others based on these principles -- sometimes, greatly in exception to #4. That generally causes great grief and strife. Open judgment of others is greatly influenced by group think, and it is peculiar how often someone's opinions/morals will change depending on what group they are in. If you are such a butterfly, then I fear that you may find yourself washed up on the rocks of self-doubt. Watch out! They scratch and tear, but the best part is, they help you to see just what has gone wrong. And, they give you ground to stand on. I've been finding my own legs lately, and pissing off people in the process. I've even started to remain silent on certain issues, but do speak up if I see a friend being berated because of their own morals/opinions. My biggest pet peeve of all is hearing someone be told that they are wrong for no other reason than that their opinion/morals are different than the person that they are arguing with.
I've noticed that this happens mostly in regards to drugs or sex, and relationships. Let me step into the extreme here: imagine a young and 'innocent' girl being seduced by a slightly older boy into doing something that she does not feel comfortable doing. I'm sure you know this guy. He is quite clever and will convince you that you will see it his way after, or that you are a fool for thinking the way you do, simply because you have not done it before and that you are just following what others want you to do. Odd, isn't it? Considering he is only wanting her to do just what he wants her too, but is convincing her that it really is what she wants. She just doesn't know any better because of her naiveté. This scene is common enough. It pisses me off when I see someone be cast aside because they are thought of as not being mature enough or experienced enough to deal with something, and therefore feel obligated to contradict what they feel is right to prove that they are mature. Maturity is relative when dealing with a person's individual moral judgment. Everyone has opinions that are based in morals. And, just like opinions, someone else's morals are no better than your own. Yes, morals are based on a person's growth and experience with their family/church/friends/community.
I will agree that some morals might change over time. Then again, there are others that never will. It is up to others to accept who you are and that parts of you will never change. It does not matter how much experience you have had or how many times you tried something just for the benefit of others to prove to them that you still do not agree with it. Fears are great examples of this! Some people live their lives based upon certain fears. They will avoid, hide, and strike out in anger and protest. Aren't morals similar? So, why is it that when someone says that they have a fear of something, people are more likely to accept that as a reason not to persuade them to do something? Yet, if a person says that it is against their morals/better judgment to do something, they are treated poorly and told that they just don't have enough experience/information to know any better?! Why is a fear more generally acceptable in today's world than morals are? Has having morals been corrupted because of religious leaders and past endeavors at forcing the world to align themselves? Or are we so caught up in always trying new things and finding a better stimulation that we can't stop long enough to say no to the morality current?
My morals have been gradually changed and defined over time, and yet certain main principles have not. All I know is that a person's morals shape who they are and what they do. All I can hope is that a person will not be persecuted for them (as long as they adhere to the principles I stated above). I never really considered what my morality meant to me until I became a young adult and saw just how much the world and all of the different experiences that you can have can affect you. Experiences, meeting people, and discovering new ideas are necessary in shaping who we are. Morals help us choose which experiences we need, want, and desire, and ultimately help us decide which are not wanted because we know what we can and cannot allow ourselves to do. By allow, I do not mean lawfully, as in what has been dictated to us, but rather what we can handle, and what we will allow others to do to us. We shouldn't let ourselves be pushed into an extremity that we are not ready for (and may never be). It is during this time when I see people being pushed into doing things that I get upset. Or, if a person stands firm in what they will and will not do, they are told that they lack the right experience and that they just don't know any better. I highly disagree with this statement. No one can know what is best for you except for yourself. There comes a time when you must choose. I just hope that when they do, they will see that they will still have family and friends who will accept who they are and know that they will always be loved. Even by the people that they most fear rejection and judgment from.
From Wikipedia: Morality is a system of principles and judgments based on cultural, religious, and philosophical concepts and beliefs, by which humans determine whether given actions are right or wrong. These concepts and beliefs are often generalized and codified by a culture or group, and thus serve to regulate the behaviour of its members. Conformity to such codification may also be called morality, and the group may depend on widespread conformity to such codes for its continued existence. A "moral" may refer to a particular principle, usually as informal and general summary with respect to a moral principle, as it is applied in a given human situation.
Regarding how our morals stand up to the expectations and controlling factors of this world, I think that is a tricky matter. For example, if you believe that murder is murder, would you still feel that way if you killed someone in self-defense? Some might, but I don't think most would. Regarding how our morals stand up to the expectations and controlling nature of our family and friends, I think that we all come to a point in our lives whereby our morals become our fears. We either hide them from some, or use them as a pillar and strike out at others. Should we be ashamed? I don't know. But I'll be damned if I let someone kick me to the wayside because I do not fit perfectly to their moral scale. People will be people. I love them for who they are, but I don't have to like it.